Day 6: The Everchanging Lands

Last night was the first meditation time I've had in awhile. It went very well too!

My new technique to clear my mind is to form pictures in my head during each breath. I figured it out last night (really this morning) and it really seems to be the way for me to go. I'll continue practicing with it and report back soon!

The demon within

So.... It's been quite awhile before I updated. The reason is I just have not been in a good place. Something always seems to happen every single day to bring me down, and I don't know why. I can't even concentrate on meditating every day.....

Jess comes on the 31st... I can't wait to see her... wish she would feel the same though...

I've noticed, in my 22 years of life, that life definitely comes in ups and downs, like a rollarcoaster... I've had a shitty past few months, then a big 'YAY', and now it's time to start the big shit kicker again... The choices one makes everyday effects the way their life will turn out for the rest of their lives, so in a sense, there are limitless possabilities. I'd like to think that one day will come where all I have to worry about is staying warm, and gathering food for my family.... the thought that its so far away scares me...

I do like posting on this blog though, even if no one reads it, as it helps me control my thoughts and read them to myself.

Sometimes I just wish I was crazy, or wasn't...

Fortuna

So today I meditated while building a fire... Great times :) wasn't exactly full meditation, just slow concentration halting my thoughts. I can't wait for Jess to get here and then we can go camping out there. It's sooooo beautiful. I love nature. Oh! So the rapture didn't happen, so this must mean, according to some crazy people, that the world is going to end on Oct 21....

(Wonder when they are gonna set off their nuke :P)

Anyways, I've been kinda slacking on the full meditation. But will start it again this week. Its actually pretty hard to just sit there and do nothing. ;)

Day 4/5: The darkness

So I woke last night to a blackout... no electricity at all on the whole block I guess. Anyways, I tried to do some meditating, and it helped. Calmed my nerves and drifted me back into sleep, which I enjoyed.

Today was hell... woke up and timed my self to get to my PO early. Turns out they don't run the bus that shuttles near my place because school isn't in session.... So I just walked the rest of the way. Got a foot long sub for $2.19 or something though! (Thanks Nikki). So I get to town, have to run to the bank, bank teller is slow because well they upgraded my account without asking me... I said whatever, withdrew my PO money and came in 30 minutes late to a new PO. Well, turns out I have a new NEW PO.... but they were cool, and I got everything paid off and cool. So I hope back on the bus, get off at the place, then head back home. 5 hrs later :)

Anyways, I did some slight meditation today, but will do some tonight as well, and I think tomorrow I might go back outside and do it, I'm not sure though....

Anyways, thanks everyone for reading!

Day 4: The Twilight

Today, well more specifically tonight, I will be doing my first meditation right be I goto sleep. To see how, if it does, alter how easy/hard it is to get into a dream-like state.

Anyways, just wanted to keep you updated, I am reporting it tomorrow along with tomorrows blog.

Thanks for reading.

Day 3: The Full Lotus

Well today was eventful. I woke up early, shaved, took a shower, and went outside to practice my meditation. Last night a friend of mine told me about Zen Meditation, so I looked into it... And it helped me quite a bit I must say. Today I went out on the porch, and sat in the full lotus (this is what I normally sit in, but now I know it's name) and closed my eyes, counted my inhales and exhales.

One thing I recognized was my ability to think beyond my thoughts. I would be thinking "One, Two, Three, Four..." and beyond those thoughts would be the slight recognition of other thoughts. I got so far as to ask myself why do I need to be so perfect when I'm just beginning? I followed the thought and concluded that of course it will take some time. Today I got up to 8 as the highest counted number. I do think I may have gotten higher, as I started just not counting and focusing on the light beyond my eyes as I inhaled, and the darkness it turned into while I exhaled.

After awhile I opened my eyes, felt clarity in my view, and took a drink of water. I then proceeded to meditate while I had my eyes open concentrating on a single plant just beyond the fence line. While I was going deeper and loosing more thought, I started to notice that the world was beginning to close around me, and getting blurry. This was my eyes closing I've come to realize, and eventually I fell back into having my eyes closed while meditating... It was truly weird, almost like I was so tired I couldn't keep my eyes open... but I wasn't even trying. I couldn't try, they just kept closing.

Eventually I got uncomfortable, with the wind blowing in the cold air, along with the full lotus position, and decided to stop. As I was unfolding.... OUCH... I definitely need to practice this more.

Today was very nice and eventful, I won't go into the details of my visions, as they were just flashes and patterns, but today was successful as I noticed a few things; my thoughts beyond thoughts (even more beyond them a few times), the light and darkness of the inhale/exhale, as well as the definite need to get a pillow to raise my body up and a soft material under my legs.

Thanks for reading. Stay tuned!

End of all days?

So, I've heard and read about so many different thoughts on all these dates... Oct 28th 2011, Dec 21, 2012, May 21, 2011, Oct 21, 2011... I'm wondering what everyones thoughts on these dates are.

If you haven't heard of some well let me explain them:

Oct 28, 2011. My guess would be few people have heard of this date. This is supposed to be the final day of the 9th wave of consciousness. For those of you who haven't heard this, or don't quite understand it. I've provided a link here. My personal thoughts about this date? I like it, I take it as the final evolution of consciousness, where we will have global recognition of a universal consciousness in all living things, including; the Earth and the Universe around us.

Dec 21, 2012. This is the one most people have at least heard something of. The End of the Mayan calender, when the world will end, when there will be global mass consciousness, and many, many, to many to list, of other speculations, guesses, and thoughts. My personal thoughts on it? I think it's a load. The Mayan calender was not measuring time like we do, they were not running a continuous never ending line structure that we have today, there were running a cycle-type calender. What where they graphing though? Was it a graph of life? Was is a graph of consciousness and thought? Maybe it is a graph of technological advancement?

May 21, and Oct 21 of 2011 are both intertwined. I actually just learned of them today, you can find the link here. It's supposedly when Christ comes back to Earth and 'saves' them on May 21, and Oct 21 is supposed to be the start of the apocalypse or the end of days? I'm not sure as I find this all a money-making scam. Thats all my thoughts on the subject as well: a money making scam.

I know this is a little off topic of the blog (but I'll have many more that do not correlate directly with meditation, the ones that do correlate with meditation will be labeled [Day #]) I just wanted peoples inputs or views and personal honest opinions about these dates.

Day 2: An uneventful past

Today was not as eventful behind the eyes. Very few flashes. I don't know if this is a bad thing, as I was able to keep my mind clear for longer periods of time. I also noticed that I became incredibly calm, almost as if I was dosed up with some kind of pain killer/muscle relaxer... I still feel this calmness about me. I came up with my own mantra as well:

I am me.
I am good.
I can change my life.
For the betterment of my life.
I am you.
You are me.
We are one.

I repeat this over and over, saying each line in my head during my exhale.
After about 5 minutes of meditation, listening only to my fan and concentrating on my breathing, is when I became very calm. After this I remembered that I wanted to try binaural beats... I'm not sure they added anything other than distracting sound over my own thoughts. I will probably try these again in the future, but at this point in time I believe they take away from my concentration.

Day 1: Beginning Meditation

So I have to admit that although this is the start of my daily routine of meditating, I have been learning to control  my thoughts and mind in my everyday life. I do this by concentrating on one thing, and then slowly concentrate on silence. If my mind begins to wonder, I quickly start concentrating on one thing again, and repeat the process.

Today I started the meditation at around 1:45. It is 2:26 now, and I must say I think I've progressed. I can now fully visualize light. Imagine, if you will, a black surface, and on this surface there is different shades of darkness. At this moment these shades of dark appear to be random; they change, they flash, they move, they wiggle, they disappear, they come closer... all at seemingly randomness.

I did get the chance to view a tunnel like hole, with infinite blackness in it; however, I did not get to explore it more as it was there for only a split second. I was able to control my breathing, and concentrate on it a lot easier, but tomorrow I think I will do it with binaural beats in my earphones. Binaural beats are specific sounds designed to effect different brain waves, and apparently, are supposed to help with deep style meditation.

I will admit that although it only felt like 10-15 minutes of meditating, it turned out to be close to 30-45 minutes. I'm happy with this day, and later tonight I will use meditation to try to bring me into a sleep so I can awake tomorrow bright and early for an interview I have. I will report tomorrow afternoon after I meditate, and if I end up falling into a trance tonight then I will report that as well.


Has anyone ever tried meditating? If so, what do you think of it? Does this sound like when you first started?

Thanks for reading.

Time to really start my meditation

I've been wanting to do this for awhile, but for some reason I just thought that I had better things to do. This stops today. An hour after I wake up I will begin the meditation, and continue until I feel content. Then I will report back my feelings and thoughts.